


Begin Again

by CJ_fics



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Felicity in a car accident, olicity - Freeform, unestablished relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ_fics/pseuds/CJ_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity is in a coma after a bad car accident. Oliver stops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Begin Again

 

As Oliver waited in the holding room at Starling City General for word on Felicity’s condition, in his focused numbness, it occurred to him just how ironic this situation was.

For the past few months, ever since that one date that ended in an injured Felicity lying on the foundry med table, he been keeping his distance from her. Breaking her heart, dashing all hope of something more between the two of them, breaking his own heart, to protect her from the life that he led. She’s hurt, he knew. She has been trying to pretend that everything was all right and that she was fine with what he had decided for the both of them. She still showed up at foundry every night, showed up at QC to support him every day. She buried her hurt under her humour and good nature, but he knew he hurt her. He also knew that it was for her own good. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself, if his multiple identities caused her any harm.

Now she’s in surgery, life hanging in a balance, because some random drunk driver T-boned her Mini. It had nothing at all to do with him being Oliver Queen and the Arrow. It was a douchebag drunk driver who did this to her. An accident.   
  
And try as he might, he couldn’t think of ways where he could blame himself for this. No, what he blamed himself for was the fact that Felicity could die tonight, believing that she didn’t matter enough for him to try to be with her.

How wrong she was.  
  
"It’s not your fault, Oliver," Diggle murmurs beside him with a hand on his shoulder.   
  
They were standing near a wall, both too agitated to sit down for the wait.  
  
"I know, Diggle," Oliver whispers back, refusing to meet his friend’s, his partner’s, eye. He steps away from Digg and the wall to resume his pacing.  
  
"Ollie—"  
  
"Oliver," he corrects Sara. For some reason, tonight, he didn’t want to be called anything but the name that Felicity called him. _Dammit, if she dies, I’ll never hear her say my name in the way she can only do again._   
  
"Oliver. Please, try to relax and rest. I think we’ll have a long wait," Sara says quietly. She’s sitting in one of the hard plastic chairs, her arms wrapped around herself, trying to keep her tears at bay as she waits patiently for news about Felicity.   
  
"I can’t," Oliver buries his left hand in his hair while his right fingers rub against each other as if nocking an arrow as he sped up his pacing. A clear sign of his panic, agitation, worry and helplessness.  
  
He stopped paying attention to what was going on around him, ignoring the presence of his friends, his sister, his teammates, who had all shown up to keep vigil over Felicity. In his head, jumbled words were on repeat. _Felicity. Don’t die. Felicity. I can’t. Felicity. Live. Please. Felicity. No. Please. Felicity. Love you. Please. Don’t do this to me. Felicity. Can’t survive. Felicity. Don’t want to. Please.  Felicity. I’m sorry. Felicity._  
  
Oliver lost track of time.  
  
"Mr. Queen?" a voice breaks through the words in Oliver’s head.  
  
Oliver looks up to see a female doctor, looking at him in concern. It occurs to him that maybe she had been calling his name for a while now.  
  
At his attention, she continues, “I am Doctor Patel, I operated on Ms. Smoak. I understand that you are her emergency contact.”  
  
He nods, his heart rate, if possible, speeding up. _Oh, god, oh god, oh god, please let her be all right. Please._  
  
"She’s stable now," Dr. Patel says quickly but in a kind voice as if she knew just how much Oliver was panicking and that he needed reassurance, "But her injuries are extensive. Collapsed lung. Broken ribs. Her left leg is broken as well. She has wounds on her body that we had to stitch up. We checked her for the severity of her traumatic brain injury soon after she was admitted to the emergency room, there is some swelling in her right lobe. We had to put her in an induced coma until the swelling goes down."  
  
"Will she recover?" Diggle asks, standing beside Oliver.  
  
"That’s up to her. But she’s a fighter. She flat-lined twice in the operating room," Dr. Patel answers, her voice still kind and understanding, "I’m positive that she will make a full recovery. With proper physical therapy and adequate rest."  
  
Oliver could hear Thea, Roy and Sara breathing loud sighs of relief Roy murmuring, “Damn right, she’s a fighter.” He could feel Diggle’s hand on his shoulder again, squeezing it in comfort, relief and support.  
  
"Can I see her?" Oliver asks tentatively in a low voice.  
  
"Yes. She will be in ICU until she wakes up and we run some more tests," Dr. Patel responds, "As soon as she’s settled in her room, I’ll ask one of the nurses to come get you."  
  
Oliver sags against the wall in relief as he murmurs his thanks.  
  
—————————————————-  
  
"Queen,"  
  
Oliver looks up from his post near Felicity’s hand, which he had not let go of since he was allowed to come into her room, to see Captain Lance, standing in the door way of Felicity’s ICU room.   
  
The police captain had a somber look on his face. He had dropped by the hospital at least once in the four days since Felicity’s car accident to check in on her. And if he were honest with himself, to check in on Oliver Queen as well. Quentin had never seen Queen this way. Gone was the confident, self-assured billionaire. Instead, in his place was someone Quentin had never thought Oliver Queen could be — desperate, depressed, panicked, agitated and despairing. Instead of his usual stubble, Queen had a full on beard — a testament to the fact that he had not left Felicity’s side for days.  
  
"Captain Lance," Oliver straightens up in his chair, the same one that he had sat on for four days.  
  
"Hey, how is she doing today?" Quentin asks, moving closer to Felicity’s bed. His eyes track the room. There are flowers everywhere. On the bedside tables near her bed. And standing bouquets along the walls of the room. And someone, he reckons either Thea Queen or his own daughter, Sara, had painted Felicity’s toe nails a vibrant hot pink.   
  
It’s as if anyone who cared about Ms. Smoak wanted to surround her with the colours she was known for, the colour she brought into their lives, Quentin thinks as he adds another bouquet of flowers to the side table closest to him.  
  
Oliver smiles a little at the gesture, nodding his head in thanks for Quentin’s thoughtfulness.  
  
"Much better. According the doctors and the nurses, her injuries are healing, and the swelling in her brain is ninety-percent gone," Oliver answers, his voice hoarse, "All she needs to do now is to wake up."  
  
"That’s good," Quentin says, feeling positive that Ms. Smoak will make a full recovery, "I wanted to let you know that we have apprehended the drunk driver who caused all this."  
  
Oliver tenses up, but he doesn’t release Felicity’s hand, “Good. I want him tried and incarcerated to the full extent of the law.”  
  
"I was expecting you to say that. Don’t worry, Laurel’s on the case," Quentin responds, "And you know how stubborn Laurel is, she’ll make sure that asswipe will never drive again."  
  
Oliver nods his thanks, then goes back to resting his forehead against Felicity’s hand.  
  
Without Queen’s eyes on him, Quentin flashes a small smile in the other man’s direction before turning his attention to Felicity Smoak, “If you want to take a break or something, I’ll watch over her for a bit, Queen.”  
  
"I’ll stay right here, Captain," Oliver murmurs, not looking up, "I’m not going anywhere."  
  
"Hey, sweetheart," Quentin whispers to Felicity, his voice gentle, "You’ve got to wake up. Open your eyes, kid. You’re fine. OK? You’re safe. We got the guy who did this to you. We’ll put him in jail so he can’t do this to anyone else. All right? Open your eyes. Wake up, OK? We miss your babbling."  
  
On the other side of the bed, he hears Queen quietly chuckle and then sniff. Quentin keeps murmuring encouraging words to Felicity. In his mind, he tells Ms. Smoak, “ _Wake up, sweetheart. He’s a mess without you. He needs you to wake up. Please._ ”  
  
"You should try talking to her, Queen. She can hear everything that’s going on around her, you know," Quentin says before he steps out of the room, "I’ll see you tomorrow."  
  
—————————————————————-  
  
"Oliver? Maybe it’s time to take break," Thea says tentatively. She’s sitting at the foot of Felicity’s hospital bed, changing the nail polish on Felicity’s toe nails. Today, it’s neon green.   
  
"I’ve taken breaks, Thea," Oliver responds, his chin resting on Felicity’s hand, his eyes not moving away from her face.  
  
"No, I mean, a proper break!" Thea insists, "It’s been six days, Ollie—"  
  
"Oliver."  
  
"Oliver. It’s been six days! The only breaks you’ve taken are pee breaks and shower breaks," Thea continues, "It might do you good to step out of the hospital for a bit, just for an hour. Get some proper rest and sleep. Get some proper hospital food. We’re worried about you."  
  
"I can’t, Thea," Oliver says quietly, "What if she wakes up and I’m not here? Or what if she— she—"  
  
"She’s not going to die, Oliver," Thea finishes for him gently, "The doctors have said that she’s out of the weeds now. Her brain has stopped swelling, she’s recovering on schedule."  
  
"Why won’t she wake up then?" Oliver asks plaintively, "When she wakes up, I’ll take a break."  
  
"Fine," Thea sighs, going back to painting Felicity’s toe nails.   
  
_Wake up, Felicity. Everything has stopped for my brother because you’re not awake. Please._  
  
————————————————————————  
  
"There’s chatter online about the Triad shipping weapons from Gotham,"  Diggle announces an hour after he shows up in Felicity’s room for his twice a day vigil.  
  
"What of it?" Oliver mumbles from his usual post, his chin resting on Felicity’s hand and his eyes not wavering from her face.  
  
"Maybe you should put on the suit and deal with it," Diggle says bluntly, his arms crossed as sits across the bed from Oliver.  
  
"No," Oliver says just as bluntly, his eyes still on Felicity.  
  
"That’s what she would have wanted, Oliver!" Diggle argues.  
  
"Don’t speak about her as if she were dead, John!" Oliver growls, removing his eyes from Felicity to give Diggle a quick but heated glare before looking at her again.  
  
"It’s been a week since the Arrow has been spotted, Oliver," Diggle says, trying another tactic, "The city still needs you."  
  
"No," was Oliver’s response.  
  
"C’mon, man. You know she would hate it if you stopped saving the city because of her," Diggle insists softly.  
  
"I can’t do this without her, Digg," Oliver confirms quietly, clutching Felicity’s hand tighter.  
  
"So we’ll let the Triad transport weapons from Gotham then?" Diggle huffs.  
  
Oliver doesn’t respond.  
  
"Maybe A.R.G.U.S. can help," a voice says from the doorway. Lyla. "After all, we owe her, and you."  
  
Oliver nods but doesn’t say anything.  
  
"Don’t worry about the city, Oliver," Lyla says, stepping into the room, "We’ll cover it until you’re ready."  
  
"Thank you," Oliver whispers.  
  
Lyla approaches Felicity to gently stroke Felicity’s hair, “Hey, Felicity, how are you doing today?”  
  
As the love his life gives a whispered update about her pregnancy to Felicity, John Diggle sends out his thoughts to Felicity, “ _Wake up, Felicity. Please. The city needs the Arrow and the Arrow needs you. I need you. Please, wake up._ ”  
  
————————————————————————-  
  
Roy brings a steaming bag from Big Belly Burger on his next visit. His goal is two-fold. One, he wanted to feed Oliver something that’s not from the hospital. And two, he’s hoping the smell of Big Belly Buster would wake Felicity up.  
  
 _C’mon, Blondie. Smell the burger goodness. Don’t you just want to bite into this big, juicy burger? Well, you have to wake up then. Please! The lair’s boring without you. And Oliver is more boring without you. Wake up, Blondie!_  
  
——————————————————————————-  
  
When Walter comes to visit, he assures Oliver that he’s keeping an eye out for Queen Consolidated, making sure that Oliver’s interests would be looked after. Oliver can only muster enough care and energy to thank Walter for his support and loyalty.  
  
Walter takes a good look at his ex-step son and worries. Oliver looks wrecked. There was no other word for it.   
  
Walter gently pats Felicity’s hand, the other hand that Oliver had not been holding tightly for the last nine days, “ _You have to survive this, Ms. Smoak. Otherwise, I fear, we will lose Oliver for good._ ”  
  
———————————————————————————  
  
On the tenth night, Oliver breaks.   
  
He’s exhausted. Physically tired from not sleeping for the last nine nights, only able to doze of while bent over Felicity’s hand and sitting on a hospital chair, and not having proper nourishment. Mentally fatigued with worry about when she was going to wake up, dealing with demands from everyone else to continue on with his life and his responsibilities, and panicking at the thought that she would never wake up and he would be, he will be, stuck here until his dying day. Emotionally spent on the thought that Felicity would never know how much she mattered to him, how much he loves her, how much it hurt him to let her go, how difficult it was for him to swallow the words he wanted to say to her.  
  
So he gave in and broke.  
  
With his face nuzzled against the side of her head, with his hands clutching hers, he cried and wailed and confessed his love, “Felicity, please, please, please, wake up. Open your eyes! Please. I promise I will never hurt you again. I love you, please. Wake up! I can’t do this without you! I need you! I want you! I love you! I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, Felicity. So please wake up! Don’t do this to me. Please.”  
  
In his wailing words, he achieved a measure of clarity, “I was wrong to push you away. I am such a dumbass to reject what we could have been, Felicity. Yes, I was protecting you. I will always protect you, that will never change. But I was protecting myself, too. Because I couldn’t bear to lose you. I would never be able to survive it, Felicity. I was scared. I’m more scared now because I know how it feels to lose you, to not hear your voice, to not see your eyes, to not listen to your brilliance and your humour, to not see you move. Twice already! I watched over you injured after our date. I just didn’t realise until now how scared I was! I know now what it would be like to love you and lose you and miss you. And I’m scared. But I promise, if you open your eyes, if you wake up, I will never let you go again. I will never deny how much I love you again.”  
  
He ends by quietly screaming, “I love you, I love you, I love you! Wake up, Felicity. Wake up, wake up, wake up!”  
  
"All right, I’m awake. Stop screaming already," a voice, hoarse and scratchy with disuse, whispers in response.  
  
Oliver stops and abruptly lifts his head to look at Felicity. Her eyes are open and she looks tired and confused and beautiful. _So beautiful._  
  
"Oliver?" she frowns, not knowing what was happening.  
  
"Felicity!" Oliver exclaims, not willing to believe what he was seeing with his own eyes, "You’re awake…"  
  
"Well, it’s hard to sleep when someone’s screaming in your ear," she responds lightly, then she seems to recall what had happened the last time she was conscious, "Car accident?"  
  
"A drunk driver. He hit you. Captain Lance has got him arrested. Laurel’s prosecuting him. He’ll never drive a car again," Oliver says automatically, still unsure about this change in the situation.  
  
"Good," she murmurs, closing her eyes. She was so tired.  
  
"No, wait!" Oliver shouts, "Don’t go back to sleep! You’ve been sleeping for the last ten days! Well, you were in a medically-induced coma. But I told myself you were just sleeping. You know, to make the situation less dire. Kind of like how you said Barry was just sleeping when he was in a coma because he got hit by lightening. Did you dream? Shit. I should call the nurse and the doctor! They should know you’re awake! Where’s the buzzer?"  
  
Felicity lets out a soft giggle, “You’re babbling, Oliver.” Then closes her eyes again, then opens them abruptly, “Ten days?”  
  
"Yeah," Oliver responds quietly.  
  
"And you’ve been here the entire time?"  
  
"Where else would I be?"  
  
Felicity reaches a hand up, the same hand he’s been holding for the last ten days, to brush tears away from his cheeks, “You need to shave … Also, you can’t take what you said to me just now, you know. I won’t let you. I love you, too.”  
  
For the first time in ten days … No, for the first time since he watched over her bloodied and injured form on the lair med table, Oliver smiles.  
  
They can begin again. He can begin again.

**Author's Note:**

> Original post: http://outoftheclosetshipper.tumblr.com/post/96435917708/prompt-felicity-is-in-a-really-bad-car-accident


End file.
